There's No (fill in the blank) In This Equation
by Nightingalelynx
Summary: In which Ian gets (irrationally) jealous of Burns and Wanda one night, after the two of them stayed out much too late. Together. It leads him to reflect a little on whether or not he's what Wanda needs, what Wanda wants. Then, of course, Wanda comes home and puts all those doubts to rest. Oh, and Wanda's little lie about her age is finally revealed. A fluffy one-shot.


Ian's POV:

I paced around my room—our room, mine and Wanda's—in a seriously annoyed mood. I checked the sky again. Night had fallen quite a while ago, and yet, Wanda hadn't returned to our cave yet.

Where was she? I huffed in my mind. What was taking her so long?

Images of her and that despicable red-headed parasite-yes, my acceptance of Wanda does not apply to that particular Soul-flooded my mind suddenly. Images of them kissing. Doing other unspeakable things.

Flinching, I pushed away all those awful thoughts and started pacing again; this time with more vigor than before.

Where was she?

Ever since that Burns guy moved into our caves temporarily to learn more about others like him, such as Wanda and Sunny, Wanda had been spending more and more time with him. My Wanda. I thought of her tiny, sheepish face and immediately felt better-until my mind replaced that with yet another image of them cuddling up to each other.

Every night, I hadn't been able to sleep due to the nightmares sleep brought me. Nightmares about Wanda and Burns, Burns and Wanda… there had been a particular painful scene that resounded in my head, over and over again. Just like it was doing now.

"There's no Ian in this equation," Burns had said, his red hair looking as if it were on fire. He sneered. All I felt was rage-undiluted rage. He was easy to hate.

"He understands me more than you do," Wanda had said, looking nowhere near as devilish as the man next to her. She looked beautiful-golden hair surrounded by a halo, bathed in bright white light… that had only made it hurt more.

"I'm sorry, Ian," she had murmured, eyes full of sorrow and pain.

No, she would never do this to me purposefully. She was too kind, too selfless for that. She would pretend to love me, just so I wouldn't have my heart broken. She wouldn't just end things, like Melanie would probably do if she stopped loving Jared.

She was not easy to hate. She was impossible to hate.

I would probably just end up hating myself if she left me for Burns.

Burns. I felt my face darken at the thought of him. If he dared try anything, I would… I would…

A satisfying image of me burning his face off with a torch appeared in my mind, and I felt better for a second.

Where was she?

Sighing, I sank down onto the bed and lay, staring up at the ceiling, my arms crossed behind my head. Wanda, please don't do this to me, I silently begged.

I knew I shouldn't doubt her. But it was kind of hard not to, given the way they interacted, the way the got along, the way they were both Souls…

That last bit hurt the most. I would do anything to make her happy, yet… what if what she needed was another Soul "gone native", just like her? They were from the same society, yet they held the same values-values different to the others. I winced again.

Suddenly, the sound of voices travelled through the thin frame of the door. High pitched, with a sweet tone to it. Wanda.

I leapt upwards, heading swiftly towards the door…until I heard the deeper bass of the voice beside her. Burns.

Wanda let out a tiny giggle. "Thanks for everything, Burns. You're the only one who could have helped me on this one!"

My fists clenched in jealousy. Yeah, I'm not even going to try to deny it. Burning through my blood right now was the green-eyed monster. What did she mean, 'only one'? I could probably have helped her! I would have done anything to help her! Hell, if I couldn't, then maybe Melanie or even Sunny could! Why did she have to turn to Burns?

"No problem, Wanda. We're one and the same, after all. I'm glad to have found someone like me." Burns' tenor voice travelled through the thin door, and echoed throughout the entire cave. I muted my growl. 'One and the same'!? Who did he think he was?

"See you tomorrow, Burns."

"See ya, Wanda."

Wanda darted through the door, slipping between the crevice between the door and the opening of the cave. She stopped abruptly and let out a little squeak.

"Oh! Sorry, Ian. I didn't know you were still awake." She blushed.

I glowered at her. Was that a bit of guilt I detected there?

She frowned, concerned by my expression. "What's wrong, Ian?"

"Nothing." I muttered petulantly, flopping onto the bed and turning my back to her.

"Ian, please." Her voice was soft, like melted butter, and butterflies, and… with a huff, I turned around to face her. My Wanda, I thought fiercely.

"Tell me, what's wrong?" A gentle hand brushed away some stray hair that had fallen in front of my face. Delicate, gentle hands. "What's worrying you?"

I gazed into her grey eyes-actually, I looked directly at the silver behind it. I wanted to talk to her, Wanderer, the soul. But I didn't know where to begin.

"I don't know, Wanda. Is there anything I should be worried about?" I murmured quietly.

She looked confused. "What? Is this some form of sarcasm I should know about?"

"No, I'm asking you a serious question. Is there something going on…" I winced again, not wanting to ask but knowing I had to. "…Between you and Burns?" I finished.

"Going on… like… romantically involved?" She had to clarify.

I gave a short, curt nod.

"Oh, Ian," she sighed, pulling me closer for a hug so that I couldn't see her face. Her beautiful, angelic, face with the equally beautiful soul inside.

I felt crippled with fear. She didn't deny it immediately! Does that mean… that must mean there's something going on! I felt my heart begin to crack. No. No. My Wanda.

"Shh," Wanda murmured in my ear. She smelled heavenly. I hadn't realized that I had spoken out loud.

"Ian O'Shea." She said suddenly, pulling back so that she could stare directly into my eyes. "There is nothing going on between me and Burns."

My face pulled back into a huge, shit-eating grin. I could always tell when she was lying. "Are you sure?" I pressed again, not really doubting her but just wanting to hear it again.

She smiled shyly. "I'm sure, Ian. I love you, and only you."

I nuzzled my face into hers, delighted, ecstatic, and a little bit smug. Take that, Burns.

"He's a great guy, Ian." Wanda continued tentatively. I frowned. "I hope you'll be okay with me being friends with him."

"No." I mumbled.

There was a long sigh. "Fine, Ian." Wanda murmured, placing her tiny head on my chest. "I won't be friends with him. I'll never talk to him again. I won't even see him again. Happy?"

Contentedness blossomed in my chest… until I realized that Wanda was really unhappy with my decision. I knew her all too well-she would sacrifice anything to make others' happy… especially me.

I shifted, and wrapped my arm around her, feeling guilty now. "You can do anything you want, Wanda. I'm sorry I was so jealous. I don't actually mind you being friends with him."

A tinkle of a giggle drifted up to my ears. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. I didn't regret my decision to tell her to be friends with Burns at all.

"Thanks, Ian."

She sighed, then darted a peek up at me through long, fair eyelashes. "You know what I was talking to him about, though?" She blushed a multitude of shades of pink. I perked up my ears. This I wanted to hear.

"I was asking him… about fertility." She blushed even harder now.

I blinked, my tired mind not catching up. "What? What about fertility?"

"Like… what would happen if we… a human and a Soul within a human body… you know'd." Her silver-lined gaze ducked away from mine, and focused on my chest. Suddenly, I understood.

I couldn't help it. I laughed. I almost liked Burns now. "Oh, Wanda."

"What?" She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Suddenly, I had a flash of inspiration. I lifted her head to mine. "You didn't have to ask him, Wanda." I murmured, our noses brushing against each other. I let a cheeky grin slip out onto my face. "We could always try it out for ourselves."

"Oh." Wanda was flustered, I could tell. I laughed again, enjoying the way her body fit snugly next to mine. Then, I paused. Why not do exactly what I just said? She had turned eighteen a week ago, and even though I knew she was much older than her body-hell, she was older than me-I just had to stick to those unwritten rules of the old society. It just didn't feel right otherwise, as if I was taking advantage of her.

She was so innocent… and she was mine. My Wanda.

"We could even… try it now, if you'd like." Suddenly, my heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. "You're eighteen, right?"

Without waiting for her to answer me, I pressed my lips gently to hers. She shivered, and then responded. She smelled so sweet. She was so sweet.

We were just getting started, when suddenly, voices rang out in the hallway again, loud and clear. This time, I heard Melanie and Jared's voice, as well as… shit. Jamie. And Doc.

"Shit, Wanda," I mumbled against her mouth, not wanting to let go. But we sort of had to. But I didn't want to. Not with the way she felt against me.

"Noooo," she whined slightly, out of breath.

"Hey! Wanda! Ian! Guess what I found?" Melanie's brash voice was mischievous. I groaned. What was she up to now?

"What we found, Mel. We." Jared's voice was amused.

"Wanda! You're about to be busted!" Jamie called, sounding just as mischievous as Melanie. Oh gosh.

Wanda sat straight up, using her tiny hands to push herself off my chest. She was wide-eyed, looking startled and a little… worried. I narrowed my eyes.

"Wanda? Is there something you should tell me?" I wasn't suspicious about her and Burns-that was cleared up a long time ago. But… why was she so worried?

"No." The false note rang out, loud and clear.

I raised an eyebrow.

She sighed, climbed off the bed, and opened the door just as Jamie barged in.

"Ow!" She gasped as the wooden frame knocked against her head.

Within moments, I was up on my feet and wrapping my arms around her. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Do you need to see Doc?"

I craned my neck to see the bump. It had gone red, but at least it wasn't swelling up. Yet. "I should get you to see Doc," I decided. She was so frail, and so fragile, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she was hurt, and it's better to be safe than sorry.

"No, no, it's fine, Ian." She wasn't lying.

"We should still get you to see Doc." I said firmly, still a little worried.

"I'm right here, Ian, and stay right where you two are." Doc's voice came up, and within moments he was in view. He slipped inside the cave.

"We've just caught Wanda on a lie that none of us knew about!" Melanie crowed, looking rather proud of Wanda.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Oh yeah?"

Jared chuckled. "Oh, yeah. Let's just say… you won't be doing what you two were just doing before we walked in for quite a while longer."

Everything clicked into place.

"You're not… you're not eighteen?" I asked Wanda, not caring that I probably looked like a retard right now. Her only response was a deep, deep blush.

"Wanda!" I whined, probably sounding like the aforementioned retard.

Jared just laughed. Asshole. If he hadn't saved Wanda's life in the first place, I would probably have beaten him up right then and there.

"Guess how we found out, Wanda?" Jamie chirped. "So we were raiding Pet's house for stuff that you could wear or use-"

Melanie interrupted her little brother. "And we found her passport hidden in the pocket of her jacket, and so naturally we opened it, and then we had a little trouble calculating the year it was-"

Jamie interrupted his sister. "And in the end, we realized that you had lied when you told us you were turning eighteen! You were actually turning seventeen!"

They seemed way too happy for me to deal with right now.

"All I want to say is ohmygodI'msoproudofyouWanda!" Melanie said the last part of the line so fast that none of us could catch it, as she leapt forward and, elbowing me out of the way, wrapped her arms around Wanda.

"You learned how to lie! A bit!" Jamie yelled, joining in for the group hug.

I made eye contact with Doc across the room. He shrugged, and seemed a little too smug for my liking. A little smile curled up over his face. "Sorry, Ian. But you've gotta wait a bit!"

My face heated up at this comment.

"Okay." I tried to make my voice as commanding as possible. It came out a bit too high-pitched. Jared snickered. "Okay," I tried again, after clearing my throat. Much better. "Out." I commanded. "Everybody-out of here. Now!"

"Fine," Melanie teased. "At least now we know what isn't going to be happening in here!"

My face burned even hotter. "Shut up," I snapped. "Get out! Everybody-go!"

My arm reached out and snagged onto Wanda's arm. "Not you, Wanda," I sighed as the rest filed out of the room, sending me smug glances.

She looked back at me, her eyes full of remorse. "Are you… aren't you angry at me?" She murmured, looking down at the floor. I sighed, realizing that she thought my anger had been directed at her, too.

"Why would I be angry at you?"

"Because…" a little hiccup escaped from her. "Because I lied."

"Everybody lies once in a while, Wanda." I soothed her, realizing that she had actually begun to cry. "It makes you… human, almost." I felt rather than saw her grin. It made me grin, too.

"Really?"

"Really." I confirmed.

Her happy expression vanished suddenly. "But…now you won't… 'you know' with me." That beautiful, bashful blush returned.

If I thought I had been shocked before, I was wrong. It was nothing compared to what I was feeling right now.

"What?" I choked out, not sure if I heard-or interpreted it-correctly. "You… you want… you want what?" My mouth gaped open.

Sounding like a retard, check!

Looking like a retard, check!

She giggled. "You…" She paused, searching for the right word. "You retard!" She giggled again. How did she manage to read my mind? And she sounded a bit too much like Melanie for my liking.

Actually, I take that back. I would have been fine with anything she did.

"I said… I really want us to be partners like that, Ian. I don't care that I'm only seventeen-I'm thousands of years older than you!-I just want to be with you." She wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing her body up against mine.

I froze, trying to ignore… to supress… nope, mission not successful.

"Please, Ian."

I looked down at her child-like, angel-like face. She was pleading. And that was all it took for me to break.

I lifted her up to face level and kissed her, hard.

"I love you, Wanderer." I felt like I had to make that clear.

"I love you, Ian," she sighed back, her voice drifting like music.

And then it was just Wanda and Ian, Ian and Wanda, and no-one else in the whole wide world. There was no Burns in the equation. I shouldn't have been worried in the first place, anyway.

I was such a retard.


End file.
